Thursday, October 30, 2008

Birth Order of Children

Even if you don't have kids, you still might get a kick out of this. If not, well then you've lost 30 seconds of your day. But as the parent of more than one child, I can say there's a whole lotta truth in it. :)

  • 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

  • 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

  • 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.


  • 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
  • 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
  • 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
  • 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
  • 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
  • 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
  • 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby
  • 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
  • 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.


  • 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
  • 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
  • 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.


  • 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether she needs it or not.
  • 2nd baby: You change her diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
  • 3rd baby: You try to change her diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to her knees.


  • 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
  • 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
  • 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.


  • 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
  • 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
  • 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.


  • 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
  • 2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
  • 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
  • 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand X-Rays.
  • 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
  • 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008

I'm Crabby

One evening as I was walking down the stairs at home, I accidentally missed a step. And although I didn't go tumbling down like Humpty Dumpty, I did catch myself in a totally jacked up way causing a late-night family trip to the ER. That was fun.

Fortunately, I'll recover full use and strength of my shoulder (one day), but the X-Rays revealed chip fragments in the rotator cuff and a slight dislocation. I took a few days at home to rest and enjoy my meds and then finally sucked it up and returned to work with my lovely sling. The only problem was (besides the fact that it limited use of my dominant arm), the weight of the sling irritated the living crap out of my neck.

So my ever-so-helpful colleagues figured out a cool solution to my problem. GrantBob was kind enough to loan me Mr. Crabby, and Jeff designed a nifty harness that turned him into a should cushion. It was pretty sweet. Thanks guys!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

This is "Literally" Hilarious

Want a little laugh and a quick flashback to the 80s? Then check out this remake of the classic a-ha video using updated lyrics that describe the action (literally).

Many thanks to my friend, Melaine, for sharing. :)